A rather intense sermon from Sunday night’s church service on Men & Marriage. Women & Marriage was not as intense, but just as interesting.

Blog reader and blogger himself, Josh Kyle got engaged over the weekend.

It’s still odd to me that this was ever a real song.

This is hillarious… and it’s all true. Just watch.

Well… Dr. Love is at it again. You may remember his first article which I listed in the random links a few days back. This guy has killer advice. For instance:

1. Observe something. Make a comment about something you observe in the environment. This is especially effective at the grocery store. For example, if she is ordering a turkey sandwich, ask her if the turkey is good here.

…wow.

While peeling through a book last night at Barnes & Noble, I was sitting beside a man in his mid-forties who had been waiting on wife to pick out a book for a good hour.

The Husband: “Hey,” he said as he popped up from his book on Native American history, “did you know that Indians can’t grow facial hair?”
Me: “I think I’ve heard that before… I wish I couldn’t grow facial hair. That would save me a lot of time each the morning.”
The Husband: “Yep… it’s like how my wife always wants me to shave in the morning, then shave in the evening just before bed. But then she gets all mad when I ask her to shave her legs. You married yet?”
Me: “Not yet.”
The Husband: “Well… let me give you one bit of advice a man handed down to me.”
Me: “What’s that?”
The Husband: “The one word you always need to remember is ‘love.’ Because there are days I love my wife to death… and there are days I’d love to kill her.”
Me: “Kinda like right now?”
The Husband: “Woman takes a d*** hour to pick out a cup of coffee.” [Calls his wife on his cellphone] “Hey… you planning on closing this store tonight, or opening-up for them in the morning?! I’m kidding sweetheart. I’ve got a book on Indians. Take your time.”

Here’s a special (slightly cheesy – ok, really cheesy) love song for all you love birds out there. You found someone you’re happy with… and that makes us happy. However, for those of you dating someone… there’s a good chance we’ll tell you what we really think of them once he/she breaks your heart a couple weeks from now.

Call it whatever you like… I actually like Valentine’s Day. It’s a good excuse to embarrass yourself cooking a meal when making cereal is the extent of your daily culinary skills.

For the rest of you… please… don’t be “that person” who, on Valentine’s Day, rambles on and on about how much this holiday sucks, if only for the fact that you have no Valentine.

Heck… a lot of us (including yours truly) don’t have a significant other to spend the day with… but we don’t go ruining others special day simply because we can’t participate. You gonna get pissed at Jewish Americans come Hanukkah?

Alright, I’m done. Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!

You may remember cool guy David Wygant from our random links a few weeks back. Ladies… this guy has got you figured out.

He now reveals the “…27 things every man needs to know.”

Some of his advice:

Now when it comes to women, I have used to Internet to flirt, I have used the Internet to keep in touch with a current girlfriend, and I have used the Internet to flirt while having a girlfriend… that was a joke (or was it?).

However, I have never and will never use to Internet to actually ask a girl out. I’m a man… and I’ll ask her out in a confident, manly way. Or, I will buy her a cookie cake with the message “Will you go out with me? Email me ‘yes’ or ‘no’” and leave it on her doorstep.

Danielle got an email yesterday from a guy she’s hung out with a couple of times. She knew she didn’t like him… but the email, along with the fact that he asked her out via email, was the final straw.

Here’s the email she recieved. I’ve left his name blank… for reasons that are obvious:

Danielle, your mission, if you choose to accept it (and you must) is to find a night that Mr. ______ can take you to dinner. Tuesday – Saturday is preferred but Sunday and Monday can also work if need be. Report back and further instructions will follow…

Over and Out…

When she read it aloud to me I thought I was going to pee my pants. Then came the tough part… actually responding (and saying no) to the guy who sent the email. At first, she beckoned my Public Relations skills to help her spin a polite and politically correct rejection notice. However, as we toiled over the message, all of a sudden Danielle stopped as said, “How about I just write what I really feel?” And she did… and it was excellent. Of course, we had to tweak it a little here and there. I made sure that she removed the “but I still want us to be friends” line she almost slipped in at the last minute.

It was just another reminder to me that honesty is always the best policy. You don’t have to be brutally honest about it… just tell them how you’re feeling in a respectful, non-patronizing way.

Honesty. Who’d a thunk?

We broke the 1,000 comment mark on Monday. Yea! You guys are the best!

In an instance of humor… irony… err… whatever you’d like to call it – the comment was made by my former, Kate McIntosh [Miss MSU 2003-04 - Means Advertising executive]

Her comment

was in reponse to my What Was That? post where she said the following in reference to Quote 3. In her quote she also made reference to an older post.

I stand by that comment, by the way.

The whoring it up comment isn’t true (we think) and was simply a reference to a post from a couple weeks back.

In other news… I made it through a whole wedding wedding this past week without anybody asking me about you Kate! That’s one small step for Landon… one giant leap for how many conversations between Landon and bridesmaids will not be interrupted by people asking, “Where’s that tall brunette you were dating?”

When returning from a road-trip from Dallas a few months back, some fellow male co-workers and I discussed “deal breakers” in relationships. You know, things we could and couldn’t do without in a significant other.

I’ll spare you the obvious (Christian, loves kids, spontaneity, loves to travel, blah blah blah) and get down to the nitty-gritty.

Smoking

We get it… it was cool to grab a ciggy in high school after the football game at someone’s party. You light it up. Pop a mint on the way home to cover up your smokey breath. On your way to bed, you toss your clothes in the washer so mommy and daddy don’t find out. You were a teenager, it was cool. [NOTE: It's widely known that I've never smoked and have absolutely no desire to... so these are all notes taken from the "more rebellious" of my high school friends.]

But now you’re an adult… grow up.

There’s nothing “cool” or interesting about someone with stained yellow teeth who with every cigarette takes 7 minutes off her life. Nothing quite says “I have no self-control” like smoking.

“But I only do it when I’m stressed.”

Lord knows you’re going to be stressed when you’re pregnant one day… you gonna light one up then? Seriously. Grow up.

Tatoos

One of my favorite lines from any movie comes from Wedding Crashers when they talk about the tatoo on the lower back of a girl: “It might as well be a bulls-eye.“

I don’t want my woman to be a target. She’s a lady, not a deer or a turkey. One day when we’re all old and fat, that cute little butterfly you got on your ankle will look like a tiny elephant head with huge ears.

Your grandchildren will call you “Granny Butterfly.” And then you’ll really hate yourself.

Belly Piercings

We all know the story: “It was Spring Break. We just did it for fun.”

So why is it still in your stomach 6 months later? Do you plan to perform a trick that requires you to suspend yourself in the air via a long chain attached to a navel ring? Are you planning on hanging something from it soon?

Take it out. Your belly will thank you.

Table Manners

This may come as a shock, but I’m quite the etiquite man. Seriously. Mom raised us right, not to mention the 3 hour credit Business Etiquite class I took my senior year at MC. (In fact, many of my blog readers took it with me as well.)

No, I don’t expect someone to hold the knife just right… or sit-up straight at all times. However, I do expect a woman to not smack her food. I expect her to treat a waiter or waitress with the same respect that she would treat a friend. I expect her to expect me to pick up the check… but to still thank me for paying anyway.

Oh, I also expect a woman to get whatever she wants to eat…. even if it is just a salad.

We’ll flip the question from the other day… since the ladies did such a stellar job.

Yes… I was being sarcastic.

If you would like to post anonymously, use. Not even I can see who you are.

Name: Anony
Email: Anony@landonhowell.com

Question:

In a day of remotes that open car doors from 50 yards away, the interaction between a guy and a girl entering a vehicle is harder to understand. However, I think most of us have been, at one time or another, in the following situation on a date. The exchange comes from A Bronx Tale.

While I can’t say that I’d “dump her” on the spot… most guys definitely take notice of a woman’s courtesy in the same way women note the courtesy of men.

Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.

Calogero: Just like that?

Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.

Love it.

A ladies only question today.

If you would like to post anonymously, use. Not even I can see who you are.

Name: Anony
Email: Anony@landonhowell.com

Question:

Google has done it again, and released another wonderful search tool… Google Romance.

As Google states:

When you think about it, love is just another search problem. And we’ve thought about it. A lot. Google Romance™ is our solution.

After you visit the site… make sure you check your calendar.

Lonely? Well, your best bet is to up-and-move to Seattle, Washington.

In a survey conducted by Sterling’s Best Places and AXE (Yes, that body-spray with over-the-top commercials) has proved the Top Ten Best & Worst Places to Date in the US.

Best Place for Dating: Seattle, Wasington
Worst Place for Dating: Birmingham, Alabama

And ya’ll thought I went to Seattle just for the heck of it.

The official list has not been realease yet, but here’s a look at last years’ top ten.

2004 Best Cities for Dating:

1. Austin, TX
2. Colorado Springs, CO
3. San Diego, CA
4. Raleigh/Durham, NC
5. Seattle, WA
6. Charleston, SC
7. Norfolk, VA
8. Ann Arbor, MI
9. Springfield, MA
10. Honolulu, HI

2004 Worst Cities for Dating:

1. Kansas City, MO
2. Wichita, KS
3. Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN
4. Detroit, MI
5. Louisville, KY
6. Greensboro/Winston-Salem, NC
7. Atlanta, GA
8. Pittsburgh, PA
9. Houston, TX
10. Charlotte, NC