I’ve long abandoned Starbucks since discovering good coffee in 2007, but some days the limited options or a time crunch warrant handing them my money in exchange for dark, hot, caffeine water.
Saturday was one of those days as I rushed home from the gym to watch the FA Cup.
I’ve had some interesting Starbucks experiences in the past. Once in Seattle a homeless man called me the n-word. Another time, someone stole my chair and moved my stuff during my 7 second walk to get a napkin. They then acted like they’d been there all day when I asked why they moved my stuff. Then there was the time where the barista couldn’t spell “Landon” and requested if she could call me something else that was easier to spell.
Anyhow, Saturday is the new frontrunner in odd Starbucks experiences.
[I pull up to the drive thru speaker.]
Barista: Welcome to Starbucks. What can we get for you?
Me: One latte…
Barista: One latte.
Me: …and a croissant.
Barista: A bagel?
Me: A croissant.
Barista: A coffee?
Me: [very polite] Cruh-sahnt.
Barista: [long pause] Banana Walnut Bread?
[At this point I thought she was just mocking me. How many things does croissant sound like? And why is “Banana Walnut Bread” one of her first guesses?]
Me: I’ll start over. One latte and one croissant.
Barista: Two latte’s?
Me: Oh my.
Me: [still very polite] Croissant. It’s a pastry.
Barista: So… just one latte?
Me: [feeling I might be on a hidden camera TV show] I’ll drive around to the window.