Handling unconstructive criticism

I’ve found that a good response to unconstructive criticism is to respond with the question “How does that help me?”

Ask the question with genuine curiosity.
Don’t be a jerk in your tone or delivery.
If it feel passive aggressive, it kinda is, but try not to make it so.

If you’re able, say it directly to the other individual via phone call or video call. Don’t send it in an email other form of written communication, because tone is lost in text.

  • Fist, asking this question helps the other individual understand how they are being perceived in the moment. People don't typically know how to respond when they're being unhelpful, so it forced a pause without you needed to become forceful.

  • Second, this question empowers you. It shows you are open to receive help, but it also reminds others that you are not simply going to accept poorly constructed and/or delivered feedback. This is you professionally pushing back.

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